Hello everyone,
On June 22 I will be participating in the Out of the Darkness Overnight Walk – an extraordinary event where participants from all over the country join together to walk 16-18 miles over the course of one night. I’m fundraising to benefit the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. Net proceeds will help those affected by suicide and mental health conditions by supporting research, advocacy, survivor resources, education, and awareness programs. AFSP has set a bold goal to reduce the suicide rate 20% by the year 2025, and I’m proud to be part of that mission.
I will be traveling to Boston, MA to walk with my very good friend, Chris Thibdeau, who has also been affected by suicide. Our goal is to raise a combined minimum of $2000 to help with awareness, training, and education.
As many of you know, my mother, Trudy Laux, committed suicide in 1986 when I was just 11 years old. This single tragic life event has made an enormous impact on my life. For nearly 30 years I struggled with so many insecurities, not really knowing how to cope with her death.
I suffered in disguise and only the very closest people to me knew my true pain. Many people didn’t know anything about what had happened as it wasn’t something that was really discussed in the ’80s. There were so many emotions along the way — guilt, sorrow, anger, remorse, and even thoughts of taking my own life. Upon entering college, I masked my pain and suffering by focusing on my career. I maintained a focused drive to become the very best teacher and person I could. Of course, I made both minor and major personal and professional mistakes along the way. I was missing something and didn’t know what it was.
I thought I had control of everything then in 2015 I found myself in the middle of so many things — perhaps life had become a bit more than I could handle. I was in a demanding job as a college professor while serving as a frequent presenter/guest conductor. I was also writing my Ph.D. dissertation on a strict timeline and remained active an involved dad (coaching baseball, etc). There were also major problems within my marriage that became out of my hands. I had done all I could.
In March of 2016, I nearly met my breaking point and had a panic attack that brought paramedics to my home. I somehow made it through! This is an example of how good counseling makes an impact — along with keeping an open, positive, and strong mind. For the rest of 2016, there were many changes, some voluntary and some choices were made for me. First, I made the choice to change jobs back to teaching public school (my true love). This made me happy at work every day. I continued building a tight relationship with my two boys and focused even more on their care. I also decided to nearly eliminate booking the extra gigs that involved travel. Later that year, the negativity that was present within the household had dismissed itself.
In 2017, my life and where it was going finally started to come into focus. There were some rough patches, especially going through a divorce, but this is where my best friends stepped in to help. I couldn’t have done it without them!
I am now at peace with my mother’s passing and am on a mission to support those who have been victims of suicide and help others develop suicide awareness. I want to be a positive role model for my boys, my students, and society.
Suicide has not only taken my mother, but I also lost a close friend, Robert James; a colleague and parent of my former students, Carol Jackson; and most recently in 2017, one of my Alpharetta High School Orchestra students.
Our society can do better to help stop suicide. Every life lost to suicide is tragic and impacts the lives of so many people. Please help me raise this money as I will walk from dusk until dawn to pay tribute to my mother, Trudy, my friend Robert, my colleague Carol, and my beloved orchestra student.
Thank you for your support in a cause I believe in. Together we can save lives and bring hope to those affected by suicide.
Sincerely,
Charles Laux
LINK TO DONATE: https://www.theovernight.org/participant/33733